My Dear Friend Mark's 40th Birthday Celebration

Next week kiddies Pontius de La Polaroid

will be traveling to

Rio de Janeiro, Brasilia

to celebrate Mark Schroeder's 40th birthday.

Debauchery will ensue,

& many libations consumed.

That is all.

FOR NOW.

HAppy Birt-dy Mark

No Title Necessary

No Body Text Necessary.

Revise re-edite re-use recycle

Just a little revision in my torrid love affair with collage. Soon to follow a brief tryst with Papier Mache` the french art of being an asshole.

Dont forget to Wear Clean Underwear

Legal over at YSL are going to have a field day with this one

More and more and more collage i may just overdose

Bitten By the Collage bug

While a slow day at work could provide for some major space time yesterday it somehow turned into collage fun time. A little bit of this and a little bit of that, a razor blade, some double sided tape, magazines, old photograms of mine and BOOOM worlds collide and ideas are conceived.

HOpe YoU ENjoy STaY TuNed fOR morE

Amazing night with new friends and drinks O plenty. Dial 7.

Alicia and Pontius a Night on the Town

Two hearts as one are these merry makers.

Her smile as bright as any super nova.

He makes her laugh.

A friendship that has traveled far and wide

but always comes home again.

She is Home to him.

Two dear friends in warm embrace

Well the company was superb, their fashion was to die

The rest should have just

died

Typical typical typical

Doll Parts - Thanks Courtney

New Adventures in Fashion and in art.

Very exciting indeed.

Hopefully the world will respond.

If they don't.

Well fuck em.

Meh fuck em anyway.

Fuck.

When East meets West

Had a stepping out adventure the past couple of evenings with a dear friend from the far east. His name is Shun but to some he is known as Kazuyoshi but for always he is SHUN. Great times 7 inch heels overturned pizza and fat bitches trying to get cabs in front of us. It is an honor to know him.

-Pontius de la Polaroid on Shun.

Things that never go out of style: polka dots, stripes (vertical or horizontal, plaid, black, white, nautical themes, and pontius de La polaroid

One person in the bar right now and they aren't drinking. The best part is they are in the corner sleeping and the cherry on the cake is they are snoring.

"Just did an award winning knife routine to Aerosmith's walk this way" Pontius de La Polaroid on things a double espresso will make you do

Hmm maybe if I cut out my monthly budget for mini peeled carrots? Yep Louboutin here I come.

"Fashion fashion everywhere but not a dime to spare" - pontius de La polaroid on his fahion finances

"I was so excited meeting him that I couldn't think of anything to say" - Andy Warhol on meeting the Fonz

If this is tuesday than yesterday was a monday but it had the feeling of a sunday which would have made the actual sunday more like last thursday.

How does time seem to go so much faster than yesterday and way quicker than the day before that. What day is this even? Must be a thursday. Calender? Nope Tues.

Character

"Its hard to act out of character when one has so many"

- Pontius de La Polaroid on Chrissy Hagen

- William Shakespeare

The Heavens themselve blaze forth the Death of Princes"

"When Beggars Die no comets are seen

The New de La Polaroid Has Re-Emerged In New York

All is not lost.

Many things had to be happen before a new start

New excitement is in store for all

Viva Marin

What Began As

An average everyday exorcism with the c,b,a's in tow

Courage of my conviction

Belief in my benevolence

Assailability on my altruism

Check, check, check,

Suddenly turned south?

Lost our way? -- Somewhere

Not sure why

Could we have trusted too much? did I doubt myself or the almighty?

Nope. Forgot my John Galliano for Dior King James Version Bible.

Of all the places

Of all the places i have been:

St. Petersburg, Russia

Manila, Philippines

Florence, Italy

Monte Carlo, Monaco

Amsterdam, Netherlands

New York, New York

The most regal and le chic of all is:

Nothing, Arizona

Maybe its a place or maybe a state of mind only the few to truly be there could even venture a guess. Even a whisper of its name and it might just disappear. Believe.

Am I Real or Am I Mannequin Man

They all say i am so chic. or in France tres chic.

Does that make me someone or just another no one?

Some say I look plastic or in France Le Plastic`.

Its seems I read better in France.

I move there.

Au Revior

Through a child's eye

Instead of balancing your checkbook

Eat Mud Pies

Forget your taxes

do Skip-it

Instead of waiting in line at the DMV

lets spin around in circles till we fall over

Forget the Vodka

have some juicy-juice

then throw a ridiculous tantrum until you get your way.

Reinvent the Thinker

Make the thought

process

different

Then you change the equation

or the algorithm

Allow for variables

Theres always variables

and say man what are were you doing here?

leave my trash alone.

Happiest of Happy American Holidaze

Be this not the most American of holidays? One where no one was ever harmed only loved. One we can be proud of - be us black, white, cuban, asian, gay, straight, left, right or upside down. Let us honor the date of 420 with a friendly smile and a hearty handshake. If you listen to some great music and consume copious cocktails then all the better. Rejoice and revel in a time honored tradition.

Why not enter. of Course at your own risk.

What on earth could be more innocent than the place we all go to each and every day to relax and relieve ourselves of the day's stresses?

YES WHAT THE FUCK COULD BE MORE SCARY THAN A BATHROOM WITH HORRIFIC LIGHTING THAT SHOWS ALL YOUR IMPERFECTIONS AND FLAWS?

WHAT?

Gone but not forgotten unless you forgotten

In the hotel room of my mind I am almost certain I have checked out.

Oh what am I gonna do?

Here there and every where

but not a dime to spare

Wanting wishing having giving

Mad Made Mored

Good Better Best Bested

Ring Rang Rung WRONG

Matter Most Magnanimous

Ruddy Rodder Rift

Always After Aiming Acute accusations allow all AA members through

In an effort to be brief I will keep this short.

Nothing is more poweful than good old word of mouth advertising. You get them talking and its not hard to keep'em coming back.

Vogue Shoot September 21st, 1968

Pontius was particularly bitchy that morning during the shoot.

Lots of tantrums

That was during his gin drinking days with all the models

Milan, Paris, Monte Carlo, Scranton you know all the big name fashion towns of the day

Chances were back then if you picked up Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, Better Homes and Gardens Pontius was likely to be gracing the pages.

Of course that was during his gin drinking days

with all the models

When you hear the grand announcement
that your wings are made of tin.
Then you know that Junior Birdman,
has turned his box tops in.

Up in the air junior birdman
Up in the air upside down
Up in the air junior birdman
Keep your noses off the ground

Pretty Maids All In a Row

Standing In Full View

Prettiest Girls I Ever Seen

Rock On Ooo My Soul

Partly from a song referring to Jimmy Dean - James Dean

When I Was a Kid

When I was little I wanted to grow up and be and L.A. Laker. But oddly enough I didn't grow up to be a seven foot tall black man. Dreams they were a dashed. Then I changed my priorities and thought I wanted to be 5'10 like Cindy Crawford. Again didn't happen. Now I'm shooting for a Paul Giamatti/Phillip Seymour-Hoffman kind of a thing. A boy can dream can't he. If this teaches us anything it is we can change our aspirations for any situation. Just don't tell.

Seven Syllables

It is until it isn't

Dedication to the Most Wonderful Megan McKinney

What a night, each light was there for each drink

each drink was poured by the commons

each common could do nothing but stare

but we loved it

Obviously

Pontius Says Answer the Questions Below

All you have to do is answer in the comment button.

Answer whatever comes to mind. Mind over matter. If there is a method to your madness say it with intensity. If you wanna be free be free.

1. Black or White?

2. In or Out?

3. East or West?

4. Fit or Fat?

Ash to the Wednesday

Let Us all not forget to get our Ash on today. It marks the first day of Lent. Lent is the time devoted to fasting, abstinence, and penitence in commemoration of J C and his fasting in the wilderness.

Trivia Question for 35 coins: Which Lord of all beings was once referred to as Ash by some unknowing caretakers?

Hint: He was known to Lick Ash Trays from time to time out of suffering for his encaged brethren.

He who knoweth not just ain't so cool. - Old Time Bible Verse

The Fattest Of Tuesdays MARDI GRAS

To all I hope you enjoy this day with the slightest of care

Don't bore with excuse just let loosest of loose

Like a Fat Little Goose

Let us return to the circus

Mother Mother When can we return to the circus

Don't worry she said

The circus returns just when you least expect it

Never wait for it or it may just vanish

Try not to think about it or you might just forget

Let the feeling take over you

What is this feeling

Was it the circus or being with mother

Just love your mother

All one must do.

Sometimes A Quote

You reach out and sometimes something someone else wrote is far beyond what you were thinking. Some. times. thing. one.

ALICE

She drank from a bottle called DRINK ME

And up she grew so tall,

She ate from a plate called TASTE ME

And down she shrank so small.

And so she changed, while other folks

Never tried nothin' at all.

- The Great Shel Silverstein

Viva the Glam

Where Oh where has my little glam gone? I try and I try but people seem to let it die. When its all gone the people will lament because soon too goes fun. All the folks I call dear will beg and plead but their houses are already blown down. Fuck Valentine's Day let's have Glam It Up Bitches Day.

Stay tuned for more public service announcements from the good people here at Pontius de La Polaroid. Don't forget we need your support to stay alive. Our best friends call us Cash.

Don't You Love The Smell of Hasidim In the Morning

There to greet you in the burg. There to pick up the rent check usually days or sometimes weeks late. There to truly help you out when your living in a uninhabitable building paying (or in Emilee and I's case not paying) thousands upon thousands in rent. This post goes out to you Mr. Wool In the Summertime wearing lover of others. The respect I felt in your presence will never fade. Sometimes stereotypes exist for a reason. The reason isn't always good. I am willing to give you a second chance will I receive the same courtesy?

Daily Reminder

Today's reminder is to eat all of your vegetables kids so you can grow up big and strong. Why? So you can throw cocktail parties and people can admire all the nice things you have acquired. If people don't have admiration for you at your own cocktail party than whats the point. Furthermore it is of the utmost importance to have seating charts for sit down dinners. We wouldn't want certain heads of state sitting next to your derelict friends. No it isn't their fault but they just aren't sitting next to Nelson Mandela or Vincent Price. Speaking of cocktails lets all remember there once was a cocktail hour and it should be returned to its former glory. Amen

These Days or in Honor of Alicia Flannery

Like two lovers in soft embrace. Like a wild gazelle about to mount another. A little nibble. A simple taste. I want you, I want you, I want you she said. Have me, take me, shake me, rape me. This is wrong. Is it? Nothing could be more right. We were here before. Let us not leave. Frozen in time. In line at the supermarket.

When You Least Expect It

Family is an idea that means many things to many people. Blood or birth does and does not a family make. They say you can't choose your family and whoever they are sure are smart. People who become yours can be found in the most unlikely of places. I have found mine in Pennsylvania. New York, Ohio, El Paso, Europe, and many other places. Its a connection and one that cannot easily be undone. When you refer to someone as your brother (or sister, mother, father) that has meaning, and should not be taken lightly. With this comes great responsibility to which it is almost impossible to live up to, but with family there comes an understanding and a belief in forgiveness. Family should be forgiven and they in turn should forgive. For the ones we love we give till it hurts and then we give some more. I am in awe of my family and believe that it will never be undone. Through the crazy and the sane and through the wind and the rain we are family.

Whats Love Got To Do With It?

And what does that word mean anyway? My interpretation of that word is completely different that the other 6,692,030,277+ people in the world. Look up the definition of the word and see if thats how you feel. Do love and sex have to be tied together or can people separate the two? We all know separation of Church and State doesn't really exist so who is gonna separate Love and Sex? These ideas just pop into my head and they must be brought up. Aren't you all thinking the same thing or am I in the minority? Can I really have my sex and eat it too?

Goings On In El Paso

I know most of you have been wondering what goes on in a crazy town like El Paso, TX. Well just look at my boys in the picture and you will immediately understand the answer. Anything goes down here. There are some friendships that are simply ordained by the heavens. Like Big Rascal on the far right he is the ring leader. Cruising bitches on a Friday night will never have the same meaning. Mad respect to "Sweats" in the middle. Its a medical condition and he can't help it. Just try to stand back a bit. That big fella on the left is Reaper and he will roll you like a joint. They may look like a crew of average pretty boys but make no mistake -- one word -- Fierce ass mofos from the wrong side of the tracks coming at ya. Enough said bout PASO?

Ode to Brothers or the Harrowing Tale of Little One and Fat Tomato

Nothing is quite like having a big brother. No matter the particulars between the two he will always be your hero. You can never beat your big brother at any game and the same goes for an attempt at overpowering him in an impromptu wrestling match. They are just engineered to always triumph. Just as it should be I say. It goes hand in hand with the little brother annoyance syndrome. Whether it be always taking a bath and not draining the water in the tub or singing your heart out in the car to your big brothers complete and utter displeasure. Steven Elias Marin is a great big brother who has superhuman powers unparalleled by any other being on the planet. Who else would come to a person's side when they have near death experiences at their own hands. Upon finding sexually questionable material on our home computer as a teenager did my brother bring it up? No way. Well at least not until I broached that specific subject over copious cocktails. One day he will know how much I truly appreciate all he has done, and no not in the manner I brazenly demand of him, but in the way his years of wisdom deem appropriate. We can only be who we are. Sometimes the world around us commands more of us then we were made to give. Kings are able to meet and exceed those expectations. My brother is a King and forever I will be his jester.

Where Have all the Bibiana Medkova's Gone

I could use a truly appropriate bitch fest right now. Complete with champagne, polaroid film, a wig or seven, sunglasses, canes, fur after fur, and all the favors of the most decadent of evenings. At the helm of this project would be number one cunt glory B. Only she and I can truly put in the grunt work of a proper bitch fest. I do love her and miss her and wish to honor her amazingly hellcatish persona. Upstate New York has taken her and the deathly hollows of the southwest have imprisoned myself. I would be wearing good sir Pontius as my stole. More than likely he would hold a Ruby in his mouth. If this is at all ringing true please respond.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Crucifixion

I mean something humorous must have happened on the way to someones crucifixion. Maybe not Jesus's but there have been a great deal of other crucifixions. Just the other day I went to one in El Paso. They typically are preceded by mimosas and light hors d' oeuvres. Usually not bloody marys because of the obvious. Don't be so serious all the time. Other things that can be funny: circumcisions, cancer, communism, careening off a cliff, and of course cleft palates.

Like an Old Friend

Each and every single Polaroid is like an old friend. Anytime you get a little lonely all you have to do is open up a box and there they are. Its as if we never said good bye. With true friends though its never good bye its simply I'll see you later. No digital photo can ever do the same as the Polaroid. Whatever dark wizard invented such black magic known as Polaroid should be heralded from the Misty Mountains and have many songs written about him in the proper Elvish tongue. Never forget where you came from because just when you do it might be impossible to get back.

Ill Be What Ever You Want Me To Be

No really I will